So top American recording artist Fat Joe has come out publicly to say the greatest mistake of his life was not signing American rap sensation Eminem when the rapper approached him six different times to sign him on many years ago. My friend wonders if Fat Joe would make such admission if Eminem had not ‘blown,’ like they say down town. But I told him to look to the fact that Fat Joe knows his greatest mistake. Not everyone is that fortunate. And not everyone who knows their greatest mistake know how to fix it or remedy the consequences that follow. Of course, there are different categories of greatest mistakes and there is no one size fit all solution for all those unpleasant consequences.
For those who see themselves in the Fat Joe category, a combination of the following steps would help:
First, acceptance of the fact. To accept the fact of the incidence is to refuse the temptation and seduction of denial. It is to accept and admit the wrong judgment call. It is to say, I am sorry. Not half-heartedly but from the gut. Heartfelt. As much as possible, admit the error without supporting it with excuses or rationalizations. It would have taken away from the authenticity of the process if Fat Joe said he didn’t sign Eminem because one of his aides asked him not to do so. Or anything to that effect.
Secondly, look for an inexpensive gift or token to send to the aggrieved party. Make sure it is a gift that can speak the language of your regret and hope at the same time. The right gift can persuade. The right gifts can speak some deep emotionese.
But in the event that the gift is seen or perceived as bribe, a slight adjustment becomes necessary. Care should be taken so that resentment, disappointment and bitterness are not given a free reign because the gift was rejected. Sometimes, the dynamics of these situations are complex and require significant patience to fully unravel.
Whether the gift is accepted or not, the third leg in the restoration process is mandatory. Build other bridges where the earlier one was burnt. Give the same opportunity you would have given to an Eminem, to others. Take it to the power of 4. That is, sign four artists, where you would have signed only one. And pray.