While processing recent reports that a court had found actor Johnny Depp guilty of domestic violence charges in the case involving his ex-wife, Amber Heard, and that the management of Wales Football Association had suspended coach and Manchester United legend, Ryan Giggs over domestic violence issues with his girlfriend, Kate Greville, my mind went to an illustration a sage once gave me about marriage.

He said “Marriage is like a man driving his car on the road. Sometimes as he nears an intersection with a car coming in the opposite direction, the temptation is often that he should maintain his speed while the driver coming in the opposite direction ought to know he/she is the one who should slow down. He assumes the responsibility to break the speed of the car was resting squarely on the shoulders of the driver coming in the opposite direction and none whatsoever on his own shoulders. Why did he assume this position? He simply felt that way. Feelings. Feelings can be useful indicators of many things but in traffic they ought to be reined in by discipline. It is why self-control is a fruit of the spirit.”

I told him I didn’t see the connection between his last sentence and everything he said previously. But he simply smiled, “You are in a hurry to learn, my friend. It doesn’t work that way. Of course, be slow to speak, quick to hear but you must not confuse hear and learn. They don’t mean the same thing. Do you understand the things I said before I mentioned the fruit of the spirit?” I said nothing for fear I might make a fool of myself a second time but he remained gracious. Give it some time when you get home. It will come to you. When it does, ask yourself why persons who have attained great success by rigorously maintaining a disciplined routine in one area do not strive continually to transfer the same pattern of discipline to other key areas of their lives.”