Those who are too old to have husbands

My neighbour likes to probe complex matters, and he sees me as a sounding board for many of his ideas. Sometimes I wish he would just leave some subjects alone because of how I feel after he has dumped them on me.

“How are we going to help those who are too old to have husbands?” he asked me recently.

“Did they tell you they need help? Or is not having a husband a medical condition?” I asked in return. I was not in the mood.

“I came to you because I know you’d give my question a fair amount of thought.”

“And what would that achieve?”

“You’d share your conclusions on the blog and may stimulate conversation”

“That would introduce husbands to those ladies who once thought themselves too old to have husbands?”

“Precisely. How did you know?”

“How did I know? You forget that two can play the game.”

“It is not a game but a wish?”

“What kind of wish?

“I have not told you about my great, great grandma. I wished she had remarried after my great, great grandpa died.”

“That’s too late now. She must be dead. Your wish is pointless.”

“It is not.”

“And what is your point?”

“She said she was too old to have a husband.”

“And you don’t agree with her?”

“Yes. There are many ladies who share that same view. I have met some ladies, who are nowhere close to my great, grandma’s age but who like her, believe they are too old to have husbands. Many of them are even young widows, still so pretty and attractive. For God’s sake, why would a lady who became a widow in her early twenties or even thirties or forties or fifties, for that matter, say she is too old to have a husband, or give some other reason?”

“And you don’t think you should respect their decision?”

“I do but what am I going to do about those among them who wish they have husbands?”

“What are you going to do? Marry all of them of course.”

“Don’t be silly. You know that’s impossible”

“What do you suggest?”

“I suggest they do not give up on love.”

“Can you give me some specifics?”

“I will. Would you believe that my great, grandma had a diary in which she made notes on the best ways to woo and win the most eligible bachelors. Unfortunately, she lived many, many years before the German, Johannes Gutenberg invented the movable-type printing press, which became the forerunner of everything printing the world has come to know since then. So my family was denied the privilege of having arguably, one of the earliest bestselling books on the subject. She could have had any husband she wanted, despite her age. She knew the time tested, guaranteed techniques and methods”

“I am still waiting for the specifics.”

“They are in her diary.”

“What’s the name of your great, great Grandma?”


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