In an interview with People magazine in February, Jennifer Lopez described the resumption of her relationship with Ben Affleck as “a beautiful love story that we got a second chance.” The beautiful pictures from the lavish wedding which was held at Ben’s compound in Georgia, United States over the weekend may be described as layers of added beauty to the unfolding story.
The fact that the story is unfolding is such an important point to note. Unfolding means there are layers in the story yet unopened or discovered by Jennifer and Ben. And there is no question about the fact the different layers in question may have their own peculiarities, complexities and characters. Some may present as simple while others may present as complex or a mix of both. Or others may even more fittingly prefer a different label apart from simple or complex.
Who knows how best to unfold, unravel and unseal the contents of the different layers and utilize what’s necessary while discarding or ignoring what’s not necessary in the long-term wellbeing of the relationship better than the couple? And who knows those layers and are best positioned to discover their contents better than the couple? What kinds of tools are at the disposal of Jennifer and Ben? Who knows who has what between them? How skilled are they in handling and wielding these tools? Oh, why are we talking about tools, skillfulness and ability to handle whatever when love is in the air? Does love require effort or work? Can’t they simply stay in each other’s arms and be satisfied by all else about life?
Questions and more questions but why did some people in the past believe that love is the answer? Are there questions that emerge from marriage and relationships that love cannot answer? What are some of these questions?
Can anyone doubt the love on display in either pair of eyes? Can anyone doubt that thought, time and various tests have extended a care or two towards the couple as things unfolded that eventually led them to the decision to marry each other once again? Yet there is this nagging feeling that this love must be tended, nurtured and allowed to breathe.
Of course, when we breathe, we give, we share and communicate while also putting ourselves in a position to receive. Jennifer said they “got another chance.” It means that they received something that was given to them by chance. Could they have ignored or rejected the offer from chance? Could they have rationalized the opportunity and given excuses to justify a negative response?
Love and justification is an interesting subject to interrogate. But the sweetest aspect of the subject is loving for love’s sake and not for the other reasons which typically dominate the scales when anyone in love is asked why they fell in love with their partner. She loves him for love’s sake and he loves her for love’s sake. To love for love’s sake is to love unconditionally, which is truly a very difficult thing to do. Those who have given themselves to love for love’s sake will readily admit that after some time, you must yourself receive a considerable portion of what you’re giving consistently or else you will burn out, and withdraw or walk away. They walked away from each other the first time but took the gift of a second chance and are back together again, affirming by their action the reality of second chance. Paying a beautiful ode to this beautiful gift of reset and endless possibilities. Providing a top and positive distraction from some of the oppressive headlines hugging the limelight while at the same time holding out for couples whose fireplaces are laden with ash and dust.
Beyond the glitz and bright faces, Jennifer and Ben are reminding the rest of the world about restarts, renewal and restoration. They are saying that some broken bridges may be reconstructed and once cherished unions, associations and relationships may ride over them once more. This, more than anything else, is the biggest takeaway from the lavish wedding. May the God who gives second chances and provides grace for those who honestly receive the gift and indicate a readiness to cooperate with the source of the supply, find from the couple the required cooperation, and may he send his benevolence to those secretly wishing for their own moment as well as those wishing for their special settlement.